Lessons From the Dog: Put Some Doggie Kisses in Your Headstand

Meet Dodson Bernard Rima-Noga, my little fabulous chihuahua-something mix friend. I found this little guy on Craigslist about five years ago, and he's been tucked in my arms, under my feet or snuggled up at my belly ever since. At this very moment he is curled up next to me on the couch. That is, after about ten minutes of incessant circling he finally plopped down to take his first morning nap. You can place almost any list of positive adjectives in front of his name and still fail to put into words Dodson's incredible awesomeness. I paid more for him than I'd pay for almost anything on Criagslist, but he's still the best deal I'll ever get.

All day yesterday I was craving a few peaceful moments of solitude on the mat. My day was filled with early morning teaching, course prep, hot and sticky subway rides, madhouse grocery shopping in stores the size of most people's closets, apartment hunters popping in and out of our apartment for viewings, and unrelenting back pain. Yoga was my sweet little vacay from a hot and hectic June day.

The first chance I got, I rearranged the furniture in our tiny bedroom/living room/dining room to make space for a yoga mat and delicious wide-armed swan dives. For those of you haven't yet visited or lived in NYC, ridiculously small apartments are just a way of life for the not so filthy rich like myself. Multipurpose rooms have a completely new meaning in this city.

Finally in mountain pose, I smiled and blissfully settled into my practice. Slowly, the downward dogs, warriors and goddess poses were soothing my mind and rolling the kinks out of my body. I flowed through the asanas delighting in their juiciness and enjoying the sound of Om as it floated peacefully through my head.

And the there were the inversions and the sweet soothing came to an abrupt end. My mind and body were taking up arms against each other right there on the mat. My mind was battling for a strong, sturdy inversion practice and my body was going awol. During a long child's pose, a comprised was reached: a no-expectations headstand near the wall (actually the front door because we don't have enough empty wall space to make room for a headstand!).

I slowly and cautiously made it up on my head and enjoyed a second of upside down strength and balance. Literally there was only a second because before I knew it a little ten-pound canine bounced at me and laid a billion little, wet doggie kisses all over my face.

I love my dog. But we have a no licking the people's faces rule for him. Anyone who has witnessed the multitude of things dogs grace with their tongues, including the sidewalk and their own bums, might also just say no to doggie kisses on their face. Dodson was happily and guiltlessly breaking the rule. Dogs can be very obedient when it matters, but they are insightful enough to know when it's worth it to ignore the humans and just go for it.

With my hands tucked behind my head for a stable headstand, I was completely defenseless. There was nothing else to do but to give in and let out the laughs. That's when I learned a yoga lesson from none other than the dog.

Doggie yoga lesson #1: Keep the love and laughter in yoga. Or, in doggie terms, put some doggie kisses in your headstand.

I thought the solution to my mind-body war was to make it up into that headstand. But it wasn't the headstand that lightened my mood and gave me a big fat smile. Dodson's carefree, happy prance up to my face and subsequent smattering of doggie kisses did that for me. With a little bit of love, the dog turned what was becoming an all too serious yoga moment into a joyful and playful one.  I'll say he deserves a good belly rub or two for that one.

Some (Unsolicited) Advice on How to Avoid a Fucking Judgmental Yoga Practice

Yesterday morning, my cousin emailed me a link to a blog post titled Yoga is Fucking Judgmental. My first thought was "That fucking catchy title makes me want to read that blog." But I was walking into my Intro to Psych class, so I begrudingly resisted opening the link and delving into the post right then and there. I'm working on living in the moment, and right then the moment was all about fighting the uphill battle of making research methods interesting to college undergrads.

Class dismissed and hidden in my office, I opened the link and gave the post a good read.  I was right. It was more interesting than correlations and experimental design and would have most definitely kept me from living in my teaching moment. The author, Micah Baldwin, is witty and delightfully frank about his Bikram yoga experiences. He also makes interesting parallels between yoga practice and startups (of which I know absolutely nothing, so I'd better just leave it at that).

But if the blogosphere were a classroom, I would have eagerly raised my hand and kindly disagreed with the statement that yoga is fucking judgmental. Can we have a judgy yoga experience? Yes, of course. Yogis are people, aren't they? People, whether naturally inclined or socially conditioned, do sometimes (okay, often) judge. This yogi will admit that yogis are no exception.

It makes me cringe to write this, but I've done it. The brutal honest truth is that I did it just last week. During an Aerial yoga class, I judged the woman in the neighboring swing for being too scared to try the upside down postures. Thinking she was an uptight drama queen, I was silently screaming at her to suck it up and just do it already. So, yes we do sometimes have judgy yoga moments.

But it is the yogi that does the judging, not the yoga. Yoga is completely nonjudgmental when yogis stop being so fucking judgmental.

It's every yogi for herself though. If you expect everyone who plops down on the mat next to yours to relinquish all judgment, you will be sorely disappointed. If you expect every person who plays teacher to let go of all judgment, you will be let down. All any yogi can do is find ways to create their own nonjudgmental yoga practice.

If that's what you wish for, here's some (unsolicited) advice on finding a judgment-free practice from one yogi to another:

1.   Try on different styles of yoga. Like fashion, we all have different tastes in yoga. Yoga styles differ in emphasis on the level of physical exertion, time spent in relaxation, length of time to hold poses, and attention to spirituality. Try on any and all styles available and decide which style harbors the least amount of judgment for you. For me, Integral Yoga or any Vinyasa Flow class taught by an easygoing and attentive teacher usually does the trick.

2.    Shop around for yoga teachers. If you thought your doctor was judging you every time you walked into her office, you would probably start knocking on a different doctor's door. Apply that logic to your choice of yoga teachers. If you typically leave class feeling judged by the instructor, stop rolling out your mat during her class. There are plenty of other yoga teachers in the sea, no need to spend time with the ones who just don't do it for you.

3.  Be loyal to outstanding teachers. When you find teachers who make you feel on top of the world before, during and after class, follow them wherever they go. Many instructors teach classes in several studios in the area. Make friends with the ones you love and find out what studios they grace with their presence. Most yoga instructors find immense joy in having loyal fans.

3.   Consider boycotting mirrors.  Many yoga studios have a strict no-mirror in the studio policy. Others are plastered with mirrors for yogis to self-evaluate their body position during asanas. Mirrors and I have a love-hate relationship. Sometimes my reflection sweetly whispers instructions for small adjustments and pleasant compliments. Other times it screams ugly judgment right back at me. Consider how the mirror helps or harms your practice. If you find judgment encroaching on your yoga, try the sans mirror approach.

4.  Have a self-guided home practice.  If other yogis aren't in the room, they can't judge you when your crow pose ends with you face planting the floor. When you have a home practice, you can take joy in working on asanas that you're nervous about trying in public. Finding the pose at home might give you the confidence you need to you find it in class. Just make sure to get instruction on how to safely complete asanas before trying them out on your own. Here's some free online instruction from Yoga Journal.

5.  Decide you don't fucking care about others' judgments and, simultaneously, adopt a nonjudgmental attitude.  Usually people are too preoccupied about what is happening on their own mat to judge what is happening on yours. But on the off chance that your yogi mates are judgy, make a conscious decision to just not care. Instead devote all your energy to your practice and attitude. Send good wishes to your fellow yogis in hopes that they can do the same.

At the risk of being punched in the face, I'll be the first to be impressed and immensely happy for you when you make it through your yoga practice with no judgment whatsoever. That's a yoga experience worth celebrating. But even if some judgment does keep sneaking into your practice, I agree with Micah Baldwin on this one. It's still worth jumping on the mat.

HPV infection rate on the decline: Nods of gratitude all around

 Holy moly, turns our the HPV vaccine is actually working! In fact, rates of infection are on a greater decline than predicted. And, here's the biggest surprise, teenagers are still having sex. Did I get you with that one? Likely not. That hasn't and probably will not change, but now fewer of those teenagers will suffer from cervical cancer. If you're wondering, its also likely that fewer of them will have unintended pregnancies thanks to their decisions to use birth control.

Here's a nod of gratitude to modern medicine. And a second nod of gratitude to all of those who are unwavering in the fight to protect our health.

The HPV vaccine hit the market while I was in graduate school and in the middle of my feminist awakening. And, coincidentally, I was also becoming a women's health nut. No one had to convince me to get vaccinated. I enthusiastically jumped up on the doctor's table and, like a good southerner, politely requested the vaccine. Thanks to outstanding student health insurance, I also didn't have to go broke to protect myself.

But, of course, there was a backlash wrapped up in this empowering moment of history. Protect your daughters! The HPV vaccine will permit them to have even more sex than they are inevitably going to have when they're teenagers. Blah, blah, blah.

I was already in my 20s, and free as a bird to decide if I wanted the vaccine or not. But, I wasn't exempt from the backlash. I remember being asked why I would get the vaccine even though I was in a monogamous relationship at the time. Wasn't I committed to my partner? What did I have to worry about? Ummm... how about rape? Or the crazy possibility that this relationship, like many relationships we have when we are 20-something, might result in a break-up?

Turns out it didn't. My 30-something self is still completely in love with the partner my 20-something self chose. But I think he would also admit that we didn't know at the time that would definitely happen. And we certainly don't know the fate of our (right now imaginary) children's futures. We can only hope that we will have the privilege to supply the tools they need to manage whatever life throws at them. Those tools come in many forms, such as love and support, access to education, knowing how to advocate for themselves, and the power to protect their health and bodies. 

A third nod of gratitude to all the parents who gave their children the HPV vaccine tool.

Summer Solstice in Manhattan (no need to pack the bikini)

Oh how lovely, the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, is tomorrow. Many thanks to the sun for allowing us to bask in its glorious light for just a few extra moments tomorrow.

This is my first solstice. I've lived through others, but this is the first one I will notice and celebrate. So, what will I do with my extra moments of daylight? Dig my bathing suit out from the bottom of the drawer, plop a big straw hat on my head and make my way to the beach? That's how I would have celebrated if I still lived in Virginia Beach.  I might have made a pit stop at the yoga studio on the way, but I would have felt the sand between my toes and the cool breeze from the water touching my face before noon. I would have closed my eyes, lifted my face toward the sky and thanked the sun for its kindness (and hoped my sunscreen was going to do as the label promised!).

But, that's not a Manhattan solstice. Like most things in NYC, solstice here is much bigger and louder than a day at the beach. Its thousands of people gathered together in the most chaotic and flashy part of the city. It's a scheduled day filled with big yoga classes in the middle of Times Square. 

Yoga in Times Square?! 

Last March I ran the NYC half-marathon right through Times Square. I was in awe during that entire stretch of the race. I was mesmerized by the fact that we were running right down the middle of Times Square. There were no cabs, tourists or statues of liberty on stilts. All that could be heard were our shoes hitting the pavement, our steady breath and encouraging cheers from the crowd. I'd lace up my running shoes in a heartbeat to do that again.

But solstice in Times Square? A quick review of the history of the solstice will tell you that solstice celebrations have been colorful, vibrant and likely loud in the past. So it isn't completely insane to spend your solstice in Times Square. In fact if you wear a costume, it might just be perfect.

But, it doesn't feel quite right to me. The solstice is about renewal. Its about taking a few extra moments of daylight to refresh our intentions with the change of the season. I was grateful to Times Square for distracting me from the pains and toil of running a half-marathon. But I don't want to be distracted from the reflection, peace and quite that I hope my yoga practice will bring to me on the solstice.

So, I'll settle for imagining the "Om" vibrating throughout Times Square as I flow through my practice in a more intimate, quite and distraction-free yoga studio. I'll also have to settle for imagining the sounds of the ocean and children playing in the sand. All of those sounds mixed together might just make for my perfect solstice celebration.

Happy Solstice to you! May you be find happiness and joy in whatever Solstice celebration you choose. Namaste.

No apologies, the f-word belongs in this blog title

I'm sort of embarrassed to admit this, but feminism didn't inspire me to start this blog. The universe certainly knows we need more feminist voices gracing the internet blogosphere. Yet I didn't think to live my feminism openly on the internet until just now. In a way I don't quite understand yet, yoga brought me here and inspired me to become a feminist yogi blogger.

Although I haven't always had a label for it, I've been a feminist from the time I could string words together into coherent sentences. I've also been a self-identified feminist long enough to know the wrath that identifying with the f-word can bring. So, why risk it? Why not stay safe and avoid the f-word altogether?

Okay, I'll say it. I was tempted to just omit the feminist part. I had convinced myself that I could host a blog that was implicitly feminist without actually using the f-word. And then there was an aha moment when I realized how incredibly silly it was to think that I could be simply implicitly feminist. Or, more importantly, when I realized that I shouldn't be simply implicitly feminist. (I know it isn't yogi-like to "should" myself, but I think this is a warranted exception.) 

There are many reasons to dare to use the f-word in my blog title, but I'll keep it short and sweet and give you my top three:

1. I'm a feminist. Among other things, yoga teaches us to how to be true to ourselves. Choosing to hide my feminism here wouldn't be very yogi (or really feminist) of me. 

2.  To borrow and modify a tried and true feminist slogan, this is what a feminist looks like and everyone should know it. Misconceptions about feminists are ubiquitous and sometimes dangerous. The moment I step out of safe feminist spaces, I'm quickly reminded of the abundant misperceptions about feminists. By no means do I represent all feminists (that is sort of the point), but proudly wearing my feminist badge everywhere is my small attempt to dispel these misperceptions.

3. Yoga isn't exempt from misogyny, racism, sexism, classism, fatism, homophobia and all other forms of oppression. My experiences with yoga thus far have been beautiful, peaceful and completely accepting. But like all other societal institutions and practices, yoga is also vulnerable to the dangers of patriarchy. For me, the only way to have a healthy, happy and safe yoga practice is to have a feminist yoga practice.